Whether the deceased has made prepaid funeral and burial arrangements or not, the surviving family members must still answer questions, pay some bills, and plan the final details of both funeral and burial arrangements. This they do while grieving and stressed.
The advice and the checklist in this article are provided to make things easier for the surviving family. Since there are so many different religions and cultures in the world, this article will generally address the Christian style of funeral planning in the United States.
Prepaid Funeral Arrangements
When there is a prepaid funeral arrangement, it usually includes the following services: transfer of the body of the deceased, embalming and sanitary care, dressing and cosmetics, placement of the body in the casket, or cremation services. Be assured that reputable funeral homes take care of these duties with utmost respect and treat the body with dignity.
Also included are the services of the funeral hearse and/or service car, staff for visitation, ceremonies, and graveside service depending on the method of burial, the receiving of flowers, the printing of memorial cards and registry book, sending the obituary to the newspaper, and having death certificates made up.
The funeral home will contact the church where the funeral or memorial service is to be held as well as the staff at the burial site, and arrange for the gravestone to be placed and engraved.
Funeral Planning Checklist
Assuming that the funeral and burial has been prepaid and some arrangements made in advance, here is a day-by-day checklist for information that is needed from the family in the days immediately following the death. Have family and friends help with some of these duties, since those who are grieving the most may not be able to talk on the phone or make decisions quickly.
First Day To-Do List for Funeral Planning
- Make phone calls to immediate family and close friends to notify of the death.
- If the deceased died in a nursing home, the family may only be given one day to remove all the belongings. Someone will have to sign for the belongings. It is important to see the list of what the patient had at the nursing home, so ask for the list, and be sure to read it carefully before signing.
- Provide the clothes the deceased will wear. This is needed for cremations as well.
- Decide on the date and time for the funeral. Will the burial immediately follow the funeral or not? Keep in mind that many grave sites charge extra for weekend burials.
- Read over the draft of the obituary and make any changes necessary.
- Contact the deceased's lawyer regarding the will, and have the executor meet with the lawyer as soon as possible.
- Contact the church minister who will be performing the funeral or memorial service and burial.
Second Day To-Do List for Funeral Planning
- Arrange for an organist and any special musical performances, and find out what those will cost.
- If the church does not provide a meeting hall for serving food, check other locations and prices.
- Arrange for refreshments/caterers if there will be food served to funeral attendees.
- Make sure there will be enough tables and chairs at the reception to fit the serving tables and all the funeral attendees.
- Does the caterer provide table linens? Plates and utensils? Is this a separate cost from the food and drinks?
- Make phone calls again to the immediate family and close friends, informing them of the viewing and funeral service time and locations. Then contact the less immediate family and friends who would want to be told of the death and funeral.
- Decide who is to give the eulogy at the funeral or memorial service.
- Contact family and friends who could serve as pall-bearers. A memorial service following a cremation may not involve mortuary staff, so find family and friends who could serve as ushers.
Third Day and Beyond To-Do List for Funeral Planning
- If the deceased did not pre-plan the funeral service, then the immediate family will have to decide on hymns and other elements of the service with the help of the minister.
- Gather together framed photos and memorabilia representing the deceased to display on a showcase table at the viewing. Assign someone to be in charge of setting up and taking down the display.
- Call the deceased's insurance companies, retirement check provider, and credit card companies to notify them of the death. The funeral home will probably contact the government and/or Social Security and send them a death certificate, but ask the funeral director to make sure.
- Ask the lawyer to advise about other organizations and agencies to be notified. Some of these groups such as banks need legal notifications and not just a phone call.
Funerals Serve to Reunite Family and Friends
Although a stressful time for the immediate family, the days following a death can become a time to renew familial bonds with distant relatives, grow closer together by comforting and serving each other, and rekindle friendships dulled by time. The days of sadness following the death of a loved one can become a time of reunion.
The checklist above should serve as a guide for those who shoulder the responsibility of arranging the funeral, burial, and taking care of the finances. Share the burden – call in family and friends to help when a loved one dies.
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